Warning: If there is anyone who even reads this blog, prepare to lose respect for me as a mother, if you had any to begin with.
I am so, so sick and tired of the tug of war that goes on with my son EVERY FREAKIN' SCHOOL DAY after school! From DAY 1 of him starting Kindergarten, we have had the same routine. I let him relax and just play or whatever for about 30 min. Then, I sit him down to do his homework. Yet, every day I'm the bad Mom, I'm so mean, he doesn't want to do it, he fights me, yells at me, cries, whines, etc. This goes on and on and on the entire time. I always start out with a goal to stay calm, patient, kind, and sweet and try to be understanding. Yet, I always end up errupting into anger and frustration. Some days are more intense than others. Some days I send him to time out more times than I can count on one hand, all the while he is yelling and smarting off to me. I get sick to my stomach every time I know that it's time for him to come home from school, praying that he either has no math homework or is in a motivated mood. Then, my night goes to pot because I'm upset, flustered, angry, and have just hit my limit. I've tried every ounce of advice I've been given, tried to relate with other Moms, and somehow feel like I'm failing miserably! Right now I'm so sick of being a Mom, when it comes to this part of being a Mom. In fact, I can honestly say I HATE IT!!!!! I know that makes me a bad person and Mom but, it's too much for me. When does it end or will it ever end? I'm so sick and tired for feeling incapable of taking care or handling my son! Why would God send a child to me that he knows I can't handle and take care of the way he needs to be? My heart hurts, my mind hurts, and I'm giving up on ever being able to reach my son or bond with him. I don't want him to hate learning and feel it's a punishment but, I also want him to understand work comes before play, education is important, that he needs to respect me, and that he can't get his way every time he brings on the water works. THIS JUST SUCKS!!!!
10 comments:
I'm so sorry Laura! (And yes, I still read!) I wish there was an easy solution (because I can somewhat relate to what you're going through) but unfortunately there isn't. Military school? Joking, of course! Well, kind of...
You're not a bad person or a bad mom because you get frustrated, angry, and yell. Parenting isn't the magical rainbows with a sickly sweet soundtrack playing in the background that I think we're all supposed to believe it is. It's okay to have meltdowns and it's okaay to plop them in front of the TV for a while so you can go take a break! (I do that...probably too much.)
How did I miss this post?!? I know what you are going through! And trust me, you are not the only one who wants to quit or wonders why you have a child who you have no idea how to handle.
You are a good mom. Don't buy into the crap. You are doing the best you can, and even though it stinks to high heaven, someday it will pay off. Just be consistent. Connor will totally surprise you when he thanks you for being so mean someday. lol!
oops! I think I just posted that under Jennifer, but that was me. Alyson. Love ya!
Laura--By your standard, we're all horrible parents. You're a great mom. Di always says to me that she wishes that she could be more fun like Laura. Happy Mother's Day!!! --Brad
Sorry you are feeling so down! you sound like a normal mother to me. I feel that a lot too with homework and I know this isn't the best advice so maybe pay no attention but I realize they go to school ALL DAY without much time to be a kid so I weigh out their homework like this...
if it is something really important that needs to be done because they are struggling in this area at school DO IT. As soon as they walk in the door and you see it in the backpack Do it before any playing or relaxing because then you can use the free time as an incentive to have him work patiently. Or I determine if the homework is just busy work if that's the case we may or may not get it finished but I let the girls decide when they are ready to do it it may be later in the evening or in the morning before school and honestly sometimes it doesn't get done.
I figure if the teacher doesn't send me a note or contact me to tell me they aren't handing something in it must not be that important. I know that is such a bad way to go about it but hey peace in my house is a lot more important to me than a piece of homework. If he is struggling in an area maybe find another way to work with him besides the worksheets that get sent home.
Sorry so long and probably no use but that's all I got.!! Be strong your a great mom and it will all work out. He won't be a school failure ofr not doing kindergarten home work. In fact mine seem to be doing just fine without doing ALL the homework and Kelsie goes to 5th grade next year! GOOD LUCK!!
Laura- you're awesome! And don't tell anyone I said this. Shhhhh. But Katie has the right idea, I think, in a situation like this. I have a kid in myclass that never gets her homework done and her mom, also a teacher at my school, is always after her to get worksheets done weeks after they've been due. I tell her basically what Katie said. If it is something she is struggling with, focus on that. Happiness at home is more important and you don't want him to start hating school and homework in Kindergarten.
(((Hugs)))
LAURA YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOM! Don't you ever doubt yourself!
As others have said, we all go/ are going through this. I battle with Maya and Jadan EVERYDAY over one thing or another. It's exhausting.
Try not to be too hard on yourself (um easier said than done and full disclosure - I totally don't take my own advice). But your doing great. Give yourself a break as needed. I do. A lot :)
I have struggled with this same thing with my oldest. I have to admit it has only gotten harder with each grade and the amount of homework they pile on them. I think it is especially hard right now because of the school year winding down and kids being anxious to be done. I only hope my second child is totally different.
Something that does work most of the time is not allowing priveledges until homework is done. If he wants to do something bad enough, like play with friends, watch tv, etc he will usually buckle down and get it done. However, sometimes it doesn't and if homework doesn't get done then he has to deal with it the next day at school. It is tough, I know and I feel for you. Hang in there!
I totally understand! We have similar meltdowns daily, so don't feel alone!!
I agree with what everyone has said! You have some pretty smart friends! :) And you are a great Mom!
Whenever I've felt similar to you in this post, Brian always tell me that in 20 years they'll all come home balling and telling me what a great job I did raising them. He better be right. ;-)
For now, hang in there! WE CAN DO THIS! :)
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