Our 8-year-old Angel!

Letting the 8 balloons go into the sky.

If you look closely, you see little dots where the 8 balloons are, in the middle of the photo.

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Brenna would have been 8 years old today. It was one of those triple days, that only come around once in a blue moon. Brenna would've been 8 on the 8th and been baptized on the 8th. Kind of interesting and ironic. Just when I think the tougher days of thinking of Brenna are gone, today hit. This year has been a tough year for me, when it comes to Brenna. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of all the friends and relatives I know, including me, having babies. Every time I see a new baby, it causes me to reflect on Brenna. Of course, I wonder and think about what could've or might've been. Unfortunately I'll never know. There's a huge plus in all of this. That would be that I have a perfect daughter, in every aspect of the word. Brenna will live with her Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for eternity. That brings me so much comfort. The other plus to this is, if we live worthily, our family will be a complete family and will be able to be with Brenna someday, thanks to being sealed in the temple for eternity. That also brings me great comfort. I feel the reason I am struggling so much today is that I picture Mike walking down into the baptism font to baptize her. I picture her in a beautiful, white baptismal gown and Mike gently laying her in the water and bringing her up. I then picture Mike blessing her with and giving her the gift of the Holy Ghost. Yes, she got the better end of the deal and doesn't need baptism. However, as a Mom it's just strange and surreal to think that today would've been her baptism day. I still have many questions that won't be answered until the next life. I would give anything to have a glimpse into heaven, for even a moment, and see Brenna. I MISS HER!

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For what would've been her 8th birthday, we let off 8 balloons like we usually do. Unfortunately, Mike was unable to be here today because of having to be in SLC for work. So, my dear, sweet friend Cheryl came over to be here for us and help out. So, first we each wrote notes or drew pictures for Brenna. Cheryl and I both wrote notes and tied them to the balloons. Connor drew a tiger for her because he thinks that is what her favorite animal would be. Then he wrote on there C loves B (Connor loves Brenna). Rylie drew a picture of a lizard with hair (her words exactly) because that's the animal she thought Brenna would like. We tied their pictures to the balloons. Corie just wanted to devour her paper. The park we usually let the balloons off at had a lot of people there. I didn't want it to be a public event for all to see. So, we took the balloons to our church and stood out on the lawn and let the balloons off that had our notes and pictures on them. Connor and Rylie both yelled, "Happy Birthday, Brenna!" I also took some time to go through pictures and items from when Brenna was born and when she was buried. It was sad to go through it all but, good at the same time. It's like therapy but, free.

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Now it's peaceful in my house. The kids are in bed and I'm alone in my house and able to think. I love Brenna with all my heart and can't wait to be with her again someday.